In my last (and, of course, first) post for Poshin’s World, we left off at the first Pakistan v Australia Test at Lord’s, with Australia at 5-188 in their second inning and somehow in the lead. I called it a most curios Test. Well, after that particular post, the Test of course went on, as Tests must, and we were treated to the most curious spectacle of watching Benjamin William Hilfenhaus scoring some runs. You might not be familiar with Benjamin William Hilfenhaus, but speaking as somebody who has seen him bat, one normally expects an innings to be done and dusted once Benjamin William Hilfenhaus appears at the crease. But in this innings, curiously, he managed to rack up 56 runs. 56 runs not out, to boot. Making him no less than the second highest Australian run-scorer in the second innings. Notably, for some 10 overs Benjamin William Hilfenhaus partnered up with Douglas Bollinger, Bollinger of all people, who put on 21 … seemingly giggling all the way. (I had a discussion with @cwbfeed on twitter regarding whether or not Bollinger actually bats. I maintain that in order to say that somebody ‘bats’ there has to be some intention involved; I have never detected any such thing when Bollinger’s aimlessly swinging the bat around.)
Then business as usual resumed and Pakistan, trying to chase down some 400 runs, after some nice resistance by Butt and Ali, had some sort of batting collapse. Marcus North took 6 wickets. Pakistan, I shall neither forgive nor forget. The match was all over on Day 4 with Australia winning by 150 runs. Afridi promptly resigned from his Captaincy and retired from Test cricket. Minor chaos. Do you know what Pakistan was missing? They were missing Ian Bell. Bell gets a lot of flack for his slow run rate and his seeming inability to go on to score really high scores. Which, yes, is not totally unfair criticism. However, Bell seems to anchor England’s innings in a most admirable way; at least, in a way no Pakistani batsman appear able to. But what about Younis Khan or Mohammad Yousuf, I hear you say. Well, Younis is apparently totally out of favour with the Pakistani selectors and Mohammed Yousuf, after consulting his Elders, turned down the Test spot offered to him despite Afridi’s begging him to accept it. Younis Khan could probably fill it, but despite his undeniable batting talent I am not entirely convinced that Mohammed Yousuf would be able to assume the Bell-esque role Pakistan needs. He certainly didn’t in Australia last summer despite both opportunity and need. I think they should go for Ian Bell. He must be at least as Pakistani as Eoin Morgan is English, right?!
After intense speculation and energetic guesswork, Salman Butt was appointed Pakistan’s new Test Captain.
People in Bradford threw the Pakistan Test XI a parade. I don’t exactly know whether they deserved one, but I think they needed one. Well, in fairness, their bowlers did deserve one. Their batsmen, not so much (Marcus. North. Six. Wickets. I. Shall. Say. No. More.).
Well, if you thought that after all that upheaval, mayhem and parading, things could not get any curiouser you would be wrong. Because when they all arrived at Headingley Cricket Ground, they did. Under overcast skies, standing on the side of what looked like a lively and slightly tricky pitch, Ponting won the toss and elected to bat. Not that there is anything particularly curious about that; Punter always elects to bat first. Irrespective of … you know, overcast skies and other swing- and bowling-friendly conditions that might lead other (simpler no doubt) Test captains to … well, not. No, the curiosity started when Australia came in to bat and left, shortly after lunch on Day 1, being all out for 88. No. Really. The once mighty Australia had managed to be all out for less than three figures in a Test match. And in a Test against Pakistan of all nations. All out. 88.
Some stats: No Pakistani bowler took more than 3 wickets: Aamer and Asif took 3 each, Gul 2 and newcomer Amin 1; only Kaneira went without. Aamer was on a hat-trick after lunch, but missed. Tim Paine was ‘highest’ (I use those scarequotes advisedly) run scorer with 17. Australia batted for a total of 33.1 overs. 88 is Australia’s 7th lowest 1st innings Test match score: 4 of the even lower 6 came against England before 1910; all 6 occurred before 1960.
As I’m writing this, play is about to resume after tea on Day 1. Pakistan is 0-64. I call this a most curious beginning to a Test match. For Australia, anyway. Now, you shall have to excuse me, I have to wipe all these tears off my keyboard.
Read the original Post Here: Curiouser and Curiouser: Pakistan v Australia, 2nd Test
